Critique Donors Choose

Review of the three Donors Choose Applications

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  • Last updated January 6, 2017 at 5:48 PM
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What did they do well? What did they not do well? What are 5 tips that you have for writing a winning Donors Choose application based on what they did well and what they did not do well.

All posted evidence

revised evidence

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12Ti5QC_yjjctyyXTvBOQyo4JAwztFIggXB9udsiyRYA

Link to actual document ^ 
material copy and pasted below v

DonorsChoose Review:1.What I liked about my donorschoose links:I really liked the three teachers I chose because all of their requests were realistic and things that I had in classrooms growing up. They laptops for all her students in order to revise and do research projects makes sense because she is trying to prepare these students for college and in college you MUST know how to edit your work. The teacher who wanted to provide students with the opportunity to pick which kind of seating arrangement worked for them appealed to the audience by making it relatable, where do YOU sit at starbucks? Does it help you focus better? It helps remind you that students should not be confined to hard chairs and strict rows if that is not what helps them learn best. The last one was my absolute favorite because of how strong of a sense of community you can feel just from her description. She kept saying that in her classroom they say WE can do it, WE can be better. She is also realistic about the environment in which she works. From what she said, you can conclude that maybe her district is not in the best area and that her kids may not come from the best homes. But she says no matter where they come from, I want them to remember that they can make something of themselves and they can learn to be amazing. 2. What I did not like:I did not like how the first teacher did not really hit on the topic of preparing her students or college. It was implied when she said they needed to learn how to revise and keep up with research but I feel like if she would have also argued that this is an essential skill they will need in college that she would have made a more powerful argument on the necesity of the computers. With the teacher that wanted to have her kids sit anywhere they wanted I did not like how she did not back her claim up with research. As a teacher candidate, I have been shown and taught about studies that prove children learn better when they are in a comfortable environment that fits their needs but not all people are aware of that. There was not anything I did not like about the 3rd teacher. I agreed with everything she said, like I said, that one is by far my favorite. Overall I did not like how some teachers did not put their grant proposal up front and easy to find. If I had to scroll a lot to try and find it, most of the time I just looked for another one. 3. 5 tips for writing a winning DonorsChoose application:Describe your classroom. Let the donor feel how much you love your kids and how important they are to you.Describe what you want up front. I skipped past a few of the choices because it was too much to read and did not seem very interesting. It could have been an amazing proposal but I wouldn't have known because it did not grab my attention.Tell them why you think this will beneficial to your students. Why do they need it and how will it help?Provide research based evidence on why this is a good idea. Is it proven to work? Why is that? (This is purely my opinion, I am the kind of person who is convinced when I see proven facts in front of my face.)Appeal to the human side of the donors. Tell how beneficial and possibly life changing this could be. If you can talk about some struggles you face without the object you need. 
sydneyking About 7 years ago

Donors Choose Summary

    For the first grant, seeking a documentation camera, Mrs. Coronado does a great job of introducing her students and the demographics of the school district in which she is teaching. I like how she explained what the product would be used for and how it would benefit the class. I think that her page would have been better if she explained what the product was. She could even upload a picture in the post. Overall, I liked her post and support visual learning for children. I really enjoyed how the picture she posted was her students saying thank you.          
    The second donors choose that I selected was Mrs. Lennon’s request for binoculars. I love that she wants to take learning outside and educate her New York students about birds and nature. I loved how she presented her students as young adults who are eager to learn. The way she wrote about her vision made me wan to donate myself. I wish she would have posted a picture of what the binoculars looked like and how many she was wanting.
                            The third grant that I chose was a school in Kentucky needing volleyballs and knee-pads. I’ve played volleyball my entire life so this grant caught my attention. I liked how he started talking about their need and the areas low poverty level. Although it’s good to set up demographics, I think he could have talked a little bit less about this and more about what he needed. I love how he says that he is offering the program free for the girls.   

                  Five tips I would give:                             
1.
Upload pictures of what you are wanting.
2. Specify how many you are wanting.
3. Say how much the donors are appreciated.
4.
Have a catchy title to draw people in.

5.
Show that you have a passion for teaching and desire to see students succeed.

higg4004 About 7 years ago

5 tips for writing a winning Donors Choose application.

  • Add pictures of your class doing activities, showing how wha you are asking for would help their learning
  • Go into full detail what you are asking your donors for and how it will help your students. 
  • Find a way to connect with the possible donors
  • Always send thank you notes/emails and send pictures of students using what the donors' money provided
  • Have some students write a sentence or two about how the donors choos being fulfilled would change their classroom.
amauch About 7 years ago

Tips

Add real pictures of the classroom because it helps you connect more. Use catchy or fun titles to draw more attention. The words used in class description are probably true but over used, use better vocabulary. Post about the personalities of the students not just their poor district. Talk about how teaching is your passion and why. Get matching donations which would help raise more money to fund your project. Put some examples of how your requests have proven to work well in other classrooms or schools, that would help donors choose them. Add statistics on how their idea has helped other students or evidence to convince the donor that yes this project, these supplies, etc. will work and how you know they will work. 
christina6 About 7 years ago

Updated with 5 tips- Donors Choose

“A Little Ms. G for all of My ELL”
This was, in my opinion, the best of the three projects I reviewed and ultimately earned my donation. This project appealed to me for multiple reasons.  Firstly, the title and subtitle were eye-catching because I thought the title was cute and in the subtitle, the teacher described very briefly, exactly what materials she needed and for what. This made me click on her page, where I saw a picture of her early childhood students, which I thought was cute. Her description was concise and appealing. She described that many of her students come from low-income and/or one parent households; the school was also rated as “high poverty.” The hook for me was that most of her class is ELL students. I wish I had helpful ELL classes/teachers when I first immigrated to the US; I saw this as my chance to make another child’s ELL experience better.  I don’t have any points for improvement for this teacher except maybe add more pictures of her students.
“Chromebooks for Students with Disabilities”                                                                  
I originally clicked on this because I saw that the donations would be matched by Google. Then I noticed that this was a teacher from Choctaw, OK, which made me want to donate. The teacher’s description was short but provided examples of scenarios where his students could use these laptops, which helped me better envision their classroom. My only concern was that the picture Mr. A uploaded showed every student in the class with a laptop. I was confused on whether he was trying to get better laptops or if this picture was of another class. I would advise Mr. A to either caption or change the picture. I would also advise him to make his title and subtitle more “catchy”; “my students need… to help them be successful” was too broad.
“Implementing a Sensory Diet for Students with Autism”
I clicked on this page because I was intrigued by the term “sensory diet” (turns out it has nothing to do with food). Ms. Sanchez had a short but adequate description. Her picture was of the classroom, which made me visualize it better but I think it would help to put up some pictures of students, especially since she teaches pre-K to 2nd grade. The school was rated as “high poverty,” which made me want to donate. The asking price was reasonable and she was very close to her goal, which also drew me to her page. I would suggest maybe adding some examples to make her project more descriptive and discussing how the items she is requesting aids students with Autism.

Tips for writing a Donors’ Choose profile:
1.       Catchy title and subtitle! Most of the pages I selected were because the titles were cute, intriguing etc. Think of a way to concisely state your project and use key words, such as ELL, Alternative Seating, Hygienic products etc. so donors know exactly what your page is about. Humor and puns are personally always a bonus. 2.       Pictures! Help donors visualize your classroom and how this project will be implemented in it. I think cute pictures of students definitely helps.
3.        Describe your project with examples! Sometimes it is hard for donors who are not too familiar with education to understand how your materials will be used. Some of the pages I reviewed provided examples of how exactly the students will use these materials, which helped me better understand the reason behind the project.
4.       Don’t overshoot. Some projects were asking for $1500+ and therefore, did not have a lot of donors. This creates a chain reaction, because when a donor sees that you have a high goal with a deadline approaching and not many donors, they will most likely not donate. If the materials you are requesting are pretty expensive, perhaps split it up into 2-3 projects? Just an idea.
5.       I didn’t see this in any of the pages I reviewed but if I was doing a donors’ choose page, I would include a video of me in my classroom describing my project in place of a description (if that is allowed). This way, the donor puts a face and setting to the project, making it more personable.
sneha-sibimon About 7 years ago

My evidence and reasoning!

Haven Ellis Critique Donors Choose Badge 02/21/17   What are five things these donors choose applicants did well? ·         For the first link I thought that the teacher did an excellent job at explaining why she needed the funds for her classroom. I like how descriptive she was and told the viewers the three main goals she wants her students to be able to accomplish once completing the class ( Pillow case, Reusable bag, Pajama Pants) ·         I thought the teacher did a good job at explaining how hard her students have worked throughout the years. The fact that they are in the highest teacher-student ratio area is a big deal and it tells a lot about the students drive and dedication to be successful. ·         For the third link, I absolutely loved how the teacher started off by asking the viewers questions. She starts by saying “Remember when you were a third grader?” By starting off with this question she gets the viewers to think back and essentially makes them think what it would have been like for them as third graders if they would have been given the wide range of seating options available in the classroom. ·         All three of these teachers I thought made good and arguable points as to why they needed the funds for their students. ·         They were very specific on how they intended on using their funds and I appreciated how open and honest they were about the students and how some or a majority of their students came from lower income families.   What are five things these donors choose applicants did not do well? ·         For the first link, overall I thought the page was great however I think the teacher could have come up with a more creative title. I think she would be able to get more attention from potential donors if her title was more interesting than “Beginning Sewing” ·         When looking at the second link, I felt like the teacher was very repetitive in saying how hard her students have worked. I think every teacher is going to say that they have hard working students who deserve to have a little fun but I felt like she could have given some more examples of work these sixth graders have accomplished. I was also confused when she said that the students would be able to learn more about the lifecycle and wildlife reservation at frontier city? Unless they have added a new part to the park that I am unaware of, I would have liked for her to have given examples on how these students were going to be able to work with and learn about the life cycle, ect. ·         For the third link, I loved the title but I was disappointed in the picture that the teacher chose. She is asking for different seating so her students will be able to wiggle around while learning but then the picture for the application is a drawing of a flower. I would have liked to have seen a picture of the chair so that why I know what I am donating to. ·          Going back to the beginning sewing link, just like I said for the third one, I definitely think she could have used a better picture. She should have showed the students actually sewing or doing something related to the class other than just standing and smiling. ·         Overall I think each of these teachers could have been just a tad bit more specific with their descriptions. I would recommend that the teachers really take into consideration what they are using for pictures and their titles. Those are the attention grabbers and in order to be successful and have people donate you have got to stand out amongst other teachers who are essentially wanting the same thing (people to donate) just for different causes. 
havenellis About 7 years ago

Donor Review

What did they do well?
Reading through the donor pages, I felt that each teach did many things that helped raise more funds for the classroom. They each gave a descriptive reason as to why they need the material in their classroom and told what it was going to be used for. They each also described their students and showed how much they cared for each one. As a reader, I felt that the teachers wanted nothing but to make their students succeed in their classroom.  

What they did not do well?

Reading through the pages it was hard for me to find any negatives. However, the only thing that I felt that could use some improvement is the teachers giving more details about the different activities they will be using the material for. This will help improve the chances of people donating money by knowing what exactly their money will be used for.  

My 5 Tips.
1.Have a catchy title- this will help people want to seek your page further to gather more information as to what you are trying to raise money for.
2. Describe your classroom and students – Adding what your classroom environment is and what your students are like will allow readers to get an insight of how you and your students interact throughout the day.
3. Give a break down to where the money is being spent – This will help donors know exactly what their money will be spent on and not feel as if it will be wasted on other things.
4. Have a place for comments – This will allow people to go onto your page and write a positive comment about you and your classroom. Plus, it will allow you to publicly thank your donors and make them feel appreciated.
5. Give examples to what the material will be used for – Giving examples will help the donors understand why exactly you need the money and how you will be using the materials in your classroom. 
christina0829 About 7 years ago

I was not sure how to upload a document so I just created a shareable link to my google doc review!

sydneyking About 7 years ago

My review of the three DonorsChoose profiles I looked at and some tips for future application writers.

Wiggle While We Work             Overall, I think this teacher did a great job creating her request. I can not be the only one seeing as she has a very large dent in her goal already funded and still has over a month to go. For one thing, her picture is very visually pleasing without showing much. The picture of presumably her students having their hands all in a circle creates an image of unity, something potential donors may like to see.  She tells you exactly what brand of chair she is buying so if you wanted to look it up yourself you could. She shares why they are needed and what they will be used for. Something I though was interesting, is that she already has a few of these chairs, so you know that they are tested and successful in achieving the purpose she has in mind. This is good because it tells future donors that they will for sure be used and not tried out and then thrown into a storage closet if they don’t work out.  Some improvements I would make is she shares how students using these special chairs act, but what about those not using the chair? Do they distract those using the chair? Why is it essential that there is a chair like this for every student during small group instruction? Overall I really liked the product that this teacher put out and believe she will be successful in achieving her goal.   Watch Me Learn, Watch Me RE-Vibe             This teacher gives you a lot of information about her students and their needs and desires. I think this is a plus because future donors want to know who is benefitting from the project. She shares what kind of classroom she teaches in and they are a highest poverty need, so this all is good points toward persuading donors to contribute to her cause. Something that I think could be improved is that she tells us what product she is wanting to buy and gives an overall summary of what it will accomplish, however not how it does this. I think that she should have explained exactly how this band monitors the student and helps them stay on task. How does it work? The idea of the product is neat, but how does it achieve this goal? That is something I would have liked to know if I was going to contribute to this cause.   Wow! Those Workers Are Just Like ME!             I really love this project! For one this teacher works in the exact environment that I want to teach in, and is striving to accomplish something that is one of my main teaching goals, provide students with experiences that show them the job opportunities available. The teacher does a great job of telling the donors where the trip will take them and why that location was chosen.  She does a great job of explaining the benefit it will have, and why it would be important for the students to have this experience. Something that could be improves is explaining where the money goes. In the bottom it tries to do this sectioning out the costs, but I want to know specifically what the almost $500 to go to the Inn Restaurant does. Does price include transportation to the inn? Is this the price of the food they are going to eat collectively? Does this include staying a night in the Inn? I want to know what parts of the trip are they paying for with this donation.     5 tips for future Donation writers 1.)   Explain your students and your classroom environment. Donors like to picture the classroom their money is going to help. 2.)   Give the exact name and details to the product you are wanting to buy. This gives future donors an idea of the product and what it does without having to look it up. Some donors may choose to do further research but the more relevant information you can give the better. 3.)   Be specific with where the money is going. If you have a large budget for one thing, explain why it costs so much, and what all the parts of the project are. 4.)   Be detailed but concise with your explanations. Donors don’t need a lot of fluff, they just want to know what you need and its benefit. 5.)   Explain how this item/experience will be used and its purpose. No one wants to donate to a cause where the item bought is going to be used for a short time and then thrown into storage. Explain it’s reusability. 
madcude About 7 years ago

Donors Choose Summaries

https://www.donorschoose.org/project/have-a-seat-getting-cozy-in-2nd-grade/2343483/Get Cozy in Second GradeThis Donors Choice request grabbed my attention. This is a second-grade teacher who would like to provide different seating options for her classroom. I have heard of teachers having different seating in their classrooms, but I know it is not done often. The teacher started her application by sharing what she loves about her students with us. I liked this because it made it more personal. Then, she went into how having different types of seating options would help benefit her students. I am a firm believer in your learning environment playing a part into how well you learn. This would absolutely help her students out, and I would donate to her class. However, I wish she went into more detail about the different seats she would be purchasing. There is a list at the bottom of the seats she would be receiving, but there is not a detailed description on her part of what the chairs look like and how they will benefit her students. Since I have read articles about seating options before, I know the benefits and I would donate to her cause.https://www.donorschoose.org/project/the-vote-is-in-math-wins/2459818/The Vote is IN! Math Wins!This is a Kindergarten teacher in OKC, OK. She wants her students to have literacy that introduces them to different math concepts. She said it will help her students grasp the math concepts better if they can relate them to real life situations. In my EDMA class, I am in right now, my professor encourages us to teach math to students in this way, so I know it would be beneficial to her students. I would absolutely donate to her class. Since she is in a high poverty area, this gives me more insensitive to want to donate. She included a picture of some of her students which I liked. She also kept her descriptions short, sweet and to the point. https://www.donorschoose.org/project/foundations-of-pre-k-writing/2425243/ Foundations of Pre-K WritingThis is a Pre-K teacher in Chickasha, Oklahoma. Her class is in need of different materials to help them with writing motor skills. Right now they are using Play-Dough and pipe cleaners to help with their motor skills. However, this is not enough for her class. She mentions how she needs materials that will be beneficial to students in all different stages of writing.  In my education classes, we are learning about how important it is to have books and math materials that reach all levels of children. Since I understand how important this is for a classroom to function, I would donate to her cause. Since she is in the highest poverty category, it makes me want to donate to these children anymore. She included a picture of her teacher her children which I like. Her write up was personal and formal. 5 Tips:1. Have an interesting title. I was more drawn to click on donation requests that had catchy titles.2. Make sure you describe the materials you are requesting donations for. I found it hard to want to donate if I did not have a detailed description of what I would be donating to.3. Have a picture of either your class or the materials. I was not drawn to any requests that did not have pictures.4. Do not make your descriptions too long. If you write an entire essay, most people will not feel like reading the whole thing.5. Be convincing. Sell what you are trying to accomplish. Convince donors that they should donate to your cause!
brookeboteler About 7 years ago

I reviewed all three donors and left five tips for future donors.

1. This first donor is asking for ipads in her classroom. The picture is of just the school so it would be more helpful if it were of her classroom to make it more personal. The picture makes it look like she is asking for ipads for the whole school. Her request though is written really well and she gives great points and evidence of why ipads would be beneficial in her classroom.
2.
The second donor is asking for pocket for supplies. This one is confusing and I am not sure exactly what this teacher is asking for. She should have included a picture of it or explained it more. The picture that she used looks like it is of her student’s artwork so that is also confusing. I am not sure if this picture is related to the material that she is asking for or if it is completely random.
 
3. The third donor is asking for Kindles Fires for her students. Her title is catchy and gets to the point since it is, “Fire Up Our Classroom!” She also explains what apps she would use on the Kindle Fire and how those would be helpful in her class. This shows that she has done her research and knows exactly what she needs. Her picture is of her bulletin board with her name on it and what looks like students work below it. It would be better if it were of her actual students in the classroom to make it more personal. 
 Five tips:
1.     Make sure to include what you are asking for in the title so when scrolling through grants it is easy to know exactly what you are asking for. It also helps if it is a catchy title since it will grab the viewer’s attention more.
2.    
Give a clear explanation on what you are asking for. Explain what the material is and how it would benefit the classroom.

3.    
Give an example of how you would use this in the classroom. Include a brief lesson plan.

4.    
Use a picture that is personal able. It helps if it is of the classroom full of students or the that material you are asking for.
 
5.     Make the summary brief, to the point and not repetitive. This way the viewers do not have to read something really long and then get confused or irritated. This helps explain exactly what you are looking for.
sydneyj About 7 years ago

Kary Heath Reviews/5 Tip

Books on Display––This posting was well-written, and fairly convincing. While I was skeptical of the "need" for a revolving bookcase, the teacher did a very good job of focusing on the students, how hard they work to overcome setbacks, and how having a revolving bookcase will allow them to better see the books and improve their interest in reading. I think by focusing on the kids and how it will help them rather than how it might improve the classroom aesthetically the teacher improved the chances of funding. 

Storage Wars!––I think this request was very relevant and necessary, and that the teacher who posted it did an okay job, but could have done better by writing more smoothly. She did do an excellent job of explaining the specific needs of her students, but it felt more of just general information about her students rather than why those needs made needing a shelf pertinent. However, to be fair she did mention the necessesity of the shelf being sturdy because of some of these needs later on, so it was not all bad. The title was nice and stood out, but I think I the exact name of a tv show which is a borderline copyright issue potentially. 

Programming Frenzy––Once again, I think this is a really relevant request that suffers only from poor writing. Programming tools is a trendy idea that lots of people can get behind on principle alone, so the project will likely still get funded, but it would have been even more powerful if it was free of grammar and mechanics issues and written compellingly. I know it sounds like a very nitpicky issue, but it matters. If a donor reads your post and thinks, "wow, they messed up that punctuation," to has to reread certain sections because it didn't make sense the first time, it makes a difference in their likelihood to donate. 

5 Tips for Writing a Request

1. Catch their eye. The title and opening description need to scream relevance right off the bat. You want as many clicks as possible so that people read your entire request, so what they see in the thumbnail needs to pop. 

2. Write well. Most of the requests are going to be important or do some level of good, and a lot of them may be asking for the same things, so it is vital that yours stands out. Compelling, coherent writing can make all the difference. If two posts have the same request, and one has serious grammatical issues and doesn't explain the need and potential use as well, the better written request will likely get more donations. 

3. Talk about your students and how the need helps them, specifically. You want potential donors to know the impact they could be having on your students, not just the look of your classroom. 

4. Use imagistic language. Help the donors to visualize the impact your request can have by describing what a successful funding of the project could look like, not just how it is now without the thing your requesting. 

5. Stay focused. You only have the readers attention for so long, so be sure that any information about your kids or classroom is relevant to your request. Added details that are more or less irrelevant only distract from your purpose. 

heath123 About 7 years ago