Donor 1: Mrs. Contreras
I really liked the title of this one, and the picture of the children in front of the slogan caught my attention. I appreciate her description of the demographics of the children in her classroom, but something that I did not like is that her classroom of first graders are preparing to be "college bound". I think that they are so young that this is a good goal for the background, but not a main focus. I would not donate to this project because her description of what they need does not seem like an essential part of a classroom, and there are other resources she could use to achieve this goal.
Donor 2: Ms. Eulberg
Again, the title and the picture of the students caught my eye. I like the way the classroom was described, but I do not like the word "duty". It puts a strange sense of obligation in my mind, and this is not what a classroom is to a teacher. The sentences in her "my project" paragraph are almost abrupt and repetitive, which takes away from the overall project. I would suggest re-writing it and rearranging the syntax a bit to sound more well spoken.
Donor 3: Mrs. Nunez
The title of this one confused me, I was not sure what her main goal was. I also do not like the way this is written. She claims that they have a decent amount considering where they are from, but that it "would not hurt to have more". This sounds too haughty to me, I would prefer if she were more humble about it. She also uses passive voice too much, which make her sentences seem abstract and hard to follow. It is tough to decipher exactly what she is saying for her classroom. Also, her reasoning for needing the suggested materials is not very convincing. The picture provided is just of some children reading books, which does not move me in any way; it is not relevant to her request, nor is it certain. That this is her classroom.
Overall, I think that a good DonorsChoose page starts with the title; it must be catchy, and it must be descriptive. I'm not sure how the page is formatted when creating a page, but it seems to be split into two sections of 'My Students' and 'My Project'. In the students section, I think it is important to state what grade you teach, what kind of school it is (rural, urban, etc.) and something positive about your classroom. In the project section, it should be direct and to the point about what you need and how it will be useful for the students and the teaching environment. Also, the picture should be relevant to what you are asking for. Either a picture of the students saying thank you, or of the students participating in a relevant activity to the materials requested.
I really liked the title of this one, and the picture of the children in front of the slogan caught my attention. I appreciate her description of the demographics of the children in her classroom, but something that I did not like is that her classroom of first graders are preparing to be "college bound". I think that they are so young that this is a good goal for the background, but not a main focus. I would not donate to this project because her description of what they need does not seem like an essential part of a classroom, and there are other resources she could use to achieve this goal.
Donor 2: Ms. Eulberg
Again, the title and the picture of the students caught my eye. I like the way the classroom was described, but I do not like the word "duty". It puts a strange sense of obligation in my mind, and this is not what a classroom is to a teacher. The sentences in her "my project" paragraph are almost abrupt and repetitive, which takes away from the overall project. I would suggest re-writing it and rearranging the syntax a bit to sound more well spoken.
Donor 3: Mrs. Nunez
The title of this one confused me, I was not sure what her main goal was. I also do not like the way this is written. She claims that they have a decent amount considering where they are from, but that it "would not hurt to have more". This sounds too haughty to me, I would prefer if she were more humble about it. She also uses passive voice too much, which make her sentences seem abstract and hard to follow. It is tough to decipher exactly what she is saying for her classroom. Also, her reasoning for needing the suggested materials is not very convincing. The picture provided is just of some children reading books, which does not move me in any way; it is not relevant to her request, nor is it certain. That this is her classroom.
Overall, I think that a good DonorsChoose page starts with the title; it must be catchy, and it must be descriptive. I'm not sure how the page is formatted when creating a page, but it seems to be split into two sections of 'My Students' and 'My Project'. In the students section, I think it is important to state what grade you teach, what kind of school it is (rural, urban, etc.) and something positive about your classroom. In the project section, it should be direct and to the point about what you need and how it will be useful for the students and the teaching environment. Also, the picture should be relevant to what you are asking for. Either a picture of the students saying thank you, or of the students participating in a relevant activity to the materials requested.